Read this on galpod.com.
It's been a while since I've posted. I've meant to every week, but every time I ended up not happy with what I've written. I've felt like something is missing. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.
My partner and I have been watching The West Wing again. It's the third time for us, and we enjoy it every time except, of course, for season five, which we still watch but with resentment. Anyways, last night we watched the episode titled "Undecideds", which is in season 7. In the episode, Matt Santos who is the Democratic nominee for the presidential elections (and, in the series, the successor of President Bartlet in terms of characteristics), has to give a speech in a Black Church a few days after a Latino cop killed a Black child. They kind of touch on racial tensions in the episode but not quite going the distance, but when he does give the speech, he says this:
"What we've learned this week is that more compassion is required of us and an even greater effort is required of us. And we are all, I think every one of us, are tired. We're tired of understanding, we're tired of waiting, we're tired of trying to figure out why our children are not safe and why our efforts to try to make them safe seem to fail."
And that resonated with me. I'm tired. I'm tired of being compassionate to people who think I'm less of a person, who think anyone is less of a person. I'm tired of being compassionate to people who try to push society back to the 19th century when voting and democracy were reserved for the privileged. I'm tired of finding compassion for people who are racist, or sexist, or ableist, or refuse to "believe" in science as if science is another cult based on someone's psychedelic trip (see: Moses). I'm tired of trying to understand how anti-vaxxers have a point, and where they're coming from. And I'm tired of being told that art is non-essential when the entire history (and pre-history) of humankind is evidence to the contrary.
So what is that missing something? I'm still not sure. Am I happy with this post? Not really. But I decided that showing up is half the battle. And it's my way of digging down deep and finding that compassion because that's the only way I know how to live up to my expectations of myself.
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