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When to Let Go of Systems

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I started keeping a notebook with me a little over a year ago. I read about bullet journals and wanted to try it out. Plus, honestly, anything that gives me an excuse to buy new stationery is good in my books.


When I was a student (bear with me, it's relevant), I used to schedule every single minute of my day. I would schedule my day in half-hour slots and write down classes, studying time, writing time, and—later on—kids time, meal prep time, and so on. When I started my first bullet journal, I modelled it after the Best Self journal, which I had used the previous year and helped me to get myself organised to some extent. I scheduled my day and planned the entire week, including meals and what I'm doing every half hour. And it worked for me in the winter, it really did.


But now... now it doesn't work for me. I schedule my time, and I don't even look at what I scheduled. And then I feel bad about not doing what I planned to do when I planned it even though I actually did do the thing, which is ridiculous. I also feel like the schedule is constricting me, smothering me. It could be that it's summer and it's harder to concentrate in the summer. It could be that I just need a break. Or it could be that my progression towards a shawl-wrapped, Muse-worshipper artist has taken another step.



This progression, of course, scares me. Normally, I would find a self-help book or some research to hide in. But this year, I'm trying for authenticity and embracing my creativity and cutting myself some slack. So, just for now, I'm going with the flow. I'm still writing down three things I'm grateful for every morning, and then I look at my day and write down what tasks I have that day. Then I do those tasks. No half-hour slots. If I have time at the end of the day, I read.

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#Schedule #Creativity #Goals #Authenticity #Anxiety



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