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A Thousand Days of Mindfulness

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I started using the Headspace app in May 2016. I used it on and off, and it helped me a lot. It reduced the amount of parental yelling in our household significantly (no available data), and it's been with me through my dad's death and dealing with everything that came after.


In March 2017, I decided to create a new routine for myself. The routine included getting up half an hour earlier to practice yoga and meditation. Today, I've kept this routine for precisely a thousand consecutive days.


I thought about doing one of those "What a Thousand Days of Mindfulness Taught Me" type post, but I find those posts a bit condescending. Do I have today more answers than I had a thousand days ago? Not even close. Has mindfulness taught me something that I'm doing consistently every day? Only practising mindfulness, probably. I find I'm a little more compassionate, a little less judgemental, mostly of others than of myself. But on the whole, I haven't become some enlightened guru.


I still have more questions than answers. I still try to listen, and many times fail. I still try to be just a little bit better every day. Still not sure if that's working.


But I do know that seeing that 1000 on the streak-count made me very proud of myself. And I've realised, over the last few days, that I meditate, just a little bit, to keep the counter going. Which is why tomorrow I'll meditate without the app so that the counter goes back to zero. I'm letting go of this competition with myself, of this need to beat some arbitrary number. I'll probably still meditate every day, but I won't be tied down to the app's counter.

 

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